Saturday, June 09, 2007

Run up to a wedding

Actually, that's two weddings-----the one I'm performing this afternoon for a very nice young couple here on Whidbey and my son's wedding to his lovely fiancee next Sunday afternoon in Reno.

It's been interesting during this wedding-prep season, as I have met with couples, to think about the commitment a marrying couple is taking on, to ask them questions about their relationship, to hear the answers each has about how they met, what attracted them to each other, what they grew to love about the other, how they talk out their differences about money, kids, and sex, and what they as a couple hope to contribute to the world.

The season has taken on new meaning for me as I envision my son and his bride thinking about the same things I'm asking couples here. My son has talked with me some about his relationship with his fiancee and her family and I think I know what some of his answers to these questions might be, though I'm sure I would be surprised at times.

When they asked me to be just the mother of the groom, not the officiant, I was a bit surprised but also relieved. I don't think it is my place to ask my son the questions I feel free to ask others. It didn't feel right to me, to add this degree of intimacy to our relationship after a lifetime of mothering him. I know that other ministers feel fine about performing weddings for their own children, and I would have done it if they'd asked. But I'm glad they were clear about my role, so that I could be clear too.

So on Father's Day, June 17, my 34 and 10/12ths year old son will marry his longtime sweetheart at her parents' home in Reno, with the aid of my extension ministry pal Catherine, who lives nearby. The clans will gather----those on his side wearing the Morrison tartan, those on hers wearing the Hamilton plaid, and those who are part of their life in Renaissance reenactment circles, wearing their RenFaire garb. It will be fun to see my former in-laws at the wedding as well as to reconnect with the bride's family.

Actually, he's as much Scandinavian as he is Scots, but a Viking-Scot combo seemed a little over the top. However, he tells me that they will have an Asatru ceremony later on in the summer. Covering all the bases, I guess, which is probably typical for a Gen X jack Unitarian Universalist post YRUU-er. Whatever. Blessed Be, for sure.


Joel said...

... a Viking-Scot combo seemed a little over the top.

It probably did to the local Scots women at the time, though the Vikings seem to have been perfectly happy with the combination. All in your perspective, I suppose.

ms. kitty said...

Yes, it would have been hard to know just how to portray that combo in a wedding. After all, I think matrimony was not the main point for the Vikings!

Joel said...

It looks like those lines crossed very early on with the Morrisons, as they derive from a Norse invader. The Hamiltons look to be of English origin, but since both clans supported the right side in the '45, it's hard to hold that against them.

ms. kitty said...

That's really interesting, Joel. He's even more Scandinavian than he realizes.