Sunday, June 24, 2007

First things first...

Earthbound Spirit was nice enough to ask about The Wedding, at the blogger dinner, so let me say that it was simply a wonderful occasion, I did NOT cry, though I was tempted, and Reno was bearably hot.

It's interesting to marry off one's first- and onlyborn child. I always ask couples, in the course of my preparing the ceremony, what they think marriage will change between them and they always answer "why, nothing that we can think of; we've been living together, and have experienced so much together already" and look at me incredulously. I try to think of a way to say tactfully, "believe me, darlings, things will change, perhaps subtly, but they will change once your relationship is legally certified."

Nobody warned me that this is what happens when a child marries, that this act of "leaving mother and father and cleaving to a spouse", as they say in the Bible (more or less, I know I don't have it quite right), will inexorably change the relationship between parent and child.

I've always been close to my son and we have talked over some major life issues, both his and mine, over the course of our 35 year relationship. But I no longer have the distinction of being the main female in his life; I have given that spot to a beautiful young woman who now wears the Morrison tartan he gave her in their wedding ceremony. And I am aware that my life has changed as well.

Our relationship is subtly different because of the legal ceremony that bound them together as husband and wife. I don't feel grief over it, but I am surprised by it. I am aware that my prayers for them are different than they were two weeks ago. They are truly a family separate from me and that is the way it's supposed to be.

I have a few pictures that I'll post later, when I get them sorted out.


Joel said...

Just saw the pictures. Dang, but he looks like my earliest memories of his dad. I haven't seen Mike in several years; it's weird to see him at an age I remember his parents being, if that makes sense. (Is this where you break into a chorus of "Sunrise, Sunset?")

ms. kitty said...

Yep, "swiftly flow the years". Actually, his dad looks every one of his almost-70 years, so I'm glad Mike looks like your earliest memories! I believe you were four years old and unwilling to sleep in the new crib we'd installed in the nursery pre-birth, when you and your folks were visiting and Mike arrived three weeks early.

Joel said...

I believe so. I remember sitting in the car in the parking lot of the hospital, not understanding why I couldn't go in and see the new cousin.