Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Viscous Circle2

(It didn't look like my previous post posted, so I re-posted it and then the pre-post post-posted. Got that?
But I like what the second post said too, so I'm editing out the re-post part and just posting the good part.)

I agree with PeaceBang, when she says this happens in our congregations too. It does happen, all the time. And to help me deal with it, I have a formula for responding to this kind of thing. It's not completely transferable to the blogosphere, but it's useful to those of us who want to offer thought-provoking ideas to a herd of cats, who have their own ideas, thank you very much, about where they are willing to be herded and why and what we might consider instead and did we know that they already know a lot about this, etc.

The formula is this:
1. say thank you for the input
2. hear and restate the person's concerns/ideas, as appropriate
3. acknowledge the validity of the person's point of view
4. ask clarifying questions to make sure I understand the point of view
5. express appreciation for the willingness of the person to give input and feedback
6. accept the point of view graciously, even if I don't plan to change
7. don't argue or get defensive. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. ALWAYS. DON'T BITE BACK.

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