An ongoing, eclectic commentary on Unitarian Universalism, after retirement from active ministry--as I see it, practice it, and love it, with sidebars on life, love and the pursuit of happiness.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
And now for something completely different:
I was quoted in a WSJ column by Jeffrey Zaslow: click here
Mazel tov, Ms. K! As a journalist myself, I'm always curious how "ordinary people" get found to be quoted in stories like this. If it's not proprietary information, I'd love to hear how you ended up on his radar screen...
DSD, our fellow blogger and UUA person Shelby Meyerhoff asked me if I'd do it, since I commented on a related post of hers awhile back. It was pure luck.
That is a subject very close to my heart and, in light of recent comments here, I can't help but take note of your honesty and courage in very publicly admitting that you have got into the occasional cat-fight yourself. ;-)
I may well plagU*Urize some chunks of that Wall Street Journal article since it "preaches to" the subject of malicious gossip and indeed verbal violence that I have been trying to persuade U*Us to responsibly deal with for well over a decade now, with little to show for it so far. . . In fact I seem to recall that one of my picket sign slogans said -
A "CHURCH" WHERE MALICIOUS GOSSIP IS CONDONED
in response to the quite ironic 'Good Gossip' title of the Sunday sermon of a certain unmentionable verbally violent and malicious gossip spreading U*U minister. I find it quite regrettable for ALL concerned that the UUA and MFC and the implicated U*U church are quite evidently chronically unready, obstinately unwilling, and apparently even (fill in the blank) unable to responsibly acknowledge that they have effectively condoned the malicious gossip of unmentionable "less than polite" U*U ministers that I have formally complained about on two occasions now. As Sam Chapman says, "A fish rots from the head down. If you stop gossip in your own life and bring it to the attention of your community, then people will follow your leadership." Quite regrettably there was, and still is. . . no *leadership* for U*Us to *follow* from either the UUA and MFC. . .
Oops! I take that back. . . There *was* in fact "leadership" from the UUA and MFC. Very well documented UUA/MFC "leadership" that a free and responsible Google search for truth and meaning will find on the "high stakes" internet. "Leadership" that *pretended* that the demonizing and marginalizing malicious gossip and verbal violence, that I complained about in order to try to nip it in the proverbial bud *before* it got any worse. . . was "within the appropriate guidelines of ministerial fellowship" or otherwise acceptable behavior on the part of U*U ministers. And it seems that *that* UUA/MFC "leadership" was followed by a few U*U ministers, to say nothing of "less than polite" U*Us more generally, who happily followed in the dubious footsteps of their peers and posted more malicious gossip and verbal violence about me and other people to the internet.
And so it goes. . .
To quote my *very* good friend famous U*U Kurt Vonnegut Jr. :-)
Perhaps this is as good a place as any to reiterate a warning that I gave to malicious and verbally violent U*Us long ago now.
As long as U*Us continue to tell malicious lies about me, and/or allow "less than polite" U*U ministers to get away with "murder" in the form of demonizing and marginalizing character assassination, other forms of malicious gossip, and verbal violence of various kinds, I will be rather less than politely telling some rather "less than pleasant" truths about U*Us U*U World-wide. I think that it would be best for everyone concerned if the UUA and MFC finally threw in the proverbial towel and then picked it up again to freely and responsibly start cleaning up the embarrassing messes they have allowed to build up over the years. I have in the past seriously considered sending the UUA and/or implicated U*U congregation a nice white towel with which to accomplish that task after vigoriusly waving it to indicate their U*Unconditional surrender to U*U Jihad Armed Farces but I expect that they would perceive it as being a "suspicious package" and not only refuse to open it, but call in the bomb squad to have it disposed off.
Robin, I'm going to let this stand, but please do your ranting on your own blog. It certainly is germane to the topic but it doesn't feel appropriate to me.
How timely, Rev Kit! Yoga Journal's December issue had an article about gossip, including its social and evolutionary purposes. The author had some great ideas for observing and combating gossip in your own life.
I knew that "rant" *could* be a bit too hot for you to handle, and if you had decided not to post it I would not have minded too much and would have posted it on my blog as you suggest here. OTOH It *really* is a message that I think U*Us need to hear, *listen* to, and appropriately respond to. So in *that* sense it is quite appropriate to post it to your blog, to say nothing of any number of other U*U blogs.
What I said may *well* be "less than kind" but it is *very* truthful, if not 100% capital 'T' True, and I believe that it is quite *necessary* in more ways than one. Perhaps especially in light of the slightly belated Christmas present that some Anonymous U*U blogger gave me about a week ago now. I dare say that the Robin Edgar Sucks blog is very germane to this conversation and that U*Us in general, and the UUA and MFC in particular, *really* do need to deal responsibly with not only ever so interconnected internet gossip, but also with the less publicly visible malicious gossip and other verbal violence that goes on, and on, and on. . . in and around U*U churches because good U*Us do nothing to put an *end* to that evil.
The warning I posted is one that I have made many times before, but it quite obviously bears repeating. I *will* be telling rather unpleasant truths about U*Us in general and "less than excellent" U*U ministers in particular, as long as U*Us continue to engage in, or effectively approve of aka condone, false and malicious gossip that seeks to demonize and marginalize me and/or other people of worth and dignity. In *my* books capital 'T' Truth and capital 'N' Necessity trump kindness, especially when people are being "less than truthfully" and "less than necessarily" (aka gratuitously) "less than kind" to me.
So I thank you once again for kindly posting my "rant" even though you felt that it was "less than appropriate".
Sincerely,
Robin Edgar aka The Emerson Sucker*
* Who ironically takes note of the fact that P.T. Barnum is a famous U*U. :-)
Robin, I'm publishing your remarks again even though they're "rant-ish" because I am appalled that anyone would actually put a blog out there that is a direct insult to another person, no matter what their opinion is. I'm sorry that this "someone" has so little recognition of another person's inherent worth and dignity. But please, no more rants as comments.
Robin, I"m considering it a private message because I really don't want to be a vehicle for your complaints, whether they are legitimate or not. Thanks for telling me, though.
i've been watching this dialogue and coming back to my own experiences with robin and the mfc.
how does one deal with being dissed? it has happened to so many of us, and will befall those we love. it can't really be removed from human discourse.
here is where the christian scriptures speak with some practical guidance. when the mediating is done, it could be that one's only recourse is to forgive.
buddhists remind us that only in letting go of our suffering do we fully open the door to our own emerging future of opprtunities.
and folk wisdom reminds us that, "we catch more flies with honey."
bitterness corrodes from within. i have found that doing my best to let go of it and stay in right relationship has given voice to any number of fellow uus who don't want to be frozen in an acrimonious moment.
i'm not perfect, and like kit, i don't always livr up to my ideals. but it isn't whether we fail, but how we approach round two, that results in victory.
Robin, I've rejected the latest comment, even though it's meaningful, because I want to move on from this and not keep the thread going. But I read it and appreciated your spelling it out the way you did.
Well presumably most of your readers know where to find my full point-by-point response to Rev. Elz Curtiss' words and read it if they *care* to do so.
18 comments:
Mazel tov, Ms. K!
As a journalist myself, I'm always curious how "ordinary people" get found to be quoted in stories like this. If it's not proprietary information, I'd love to hear how you ended up on his radar screen...
DSD, our fellow blogger and UUA person Shelby Meyerhoff asked me if I'd do it, since I commented on a related post of hers awhile back. It was pure luck.
Well done Ms. Kitty!
That is a subject very close to my heart and, in light of recent comments here, I can't help but take note of your honesty and courage in very publicly admitting that you have got into the occasional cat-fight yourself. ;-)
I may well plagU*Urize some chunks of that Wall Street Journal article since it "preaches to" the subject of malicious gossip and indeed verbal violence that I have been trying to persuade U*Us to responsibly deal with for well over a decade now, with little to show for it so far. . . In fact I seem to recall that one of my picket sign slogans said -
A "CHURCH" WHERE MALICIOUS GOSSIP IS CONDONED
in response to the quite ironic 'Good Gossip' title of the Sunday sermon of a certain unmentionable verbally violent and malicious gossip spreading U*U minister. I find it quite regrettable for ALL concerned that the UUA and MFC and the implicated U*U church are quite evidently chronically unready, obstinately unwilling, and apparently even (fill in the blank) unable to responsibly acknowledge that they have effectively condoned the malicious gossip of unmentionable "less than polite" U*U ministers that I have formally complained about on two occasions now. As Sam Chapman says, "A fish rots from the head down. If you stop gossip in your own life and bring it to the attention of your community, then people will follow your leadership." Quite regrettably there was, and still is. . . no *leadership* for U*Us to *follow* from either the UUA and MFC. . .
Oops! I take that back. . . There *was* in fact "leadership" from the UUA and MFC. Very well documented UUA/MFC "leadership" that a free and responsible Google search for truth and meaning will find on the "high stakes" internet. "Leadership" that *pretended* that the demonizing and marginalizing malicious gossip and verbal violence, that I complained about in order to try to nip it in the proverbial bud *before* it got any worse. . . was "within the appropriate guidelines of ministerial fellowship" or otherwise acceptable behavior on the part of U*U ministers. And it seems that *that* UUA/MFC "leadership" was followed by a few U*U ministers, to say nothing of "less than polite" U*Us more generally, who happily followed in the dubious footsteps of their peers and posted more malicious gossip and verbal violence about me and other people to the internet.
And so it goes. . .
To quote my *very* good friend famous U*U Kurt Vonnegut Jr. :-)
Perhaps this is as good a place as any to reiterate a warning that I gave to malicious and verbally violent U*Us long ago now.
As long as U*Us continue to tell malicious lies about me, and/or allow "less than polite" U*U ministers to get away with "murder" in the form of demonizing and marginalizing character assassination, other forms of malicious gossip, and verbal violence of various kinds, I will be rather less than politely telling some rather "less than pleasant" truths about U*Us U*U World-wide. I think that it would be best for everyone concerned if the UUA and MFC finally threw in the proverbial towel and then picked it up again to freely and responsibly start cleaning up the embarrassing messes they have allowed to build up over the years. I have in the past seriously considered sending the UUA and/or implicated U*U congregation a nice white towel with which to accomplish that task after vigoriusly waving it to indicate their U*Unconditional surrender to U*U Jihad Armed Farces but I expect that they would perceive it as being a "suspicious package" and not only refuse to open it, but call in the bomb squad to have it disposed off.
WVC = stele
As in written in stone.
Robin, I'm going to let this stand, but please do your ranting on your own blog. It certainly is germane to the topic but it doesn't feel appropriate to me.
Elizabeth, huh?
:)
Yup. Thought you knew that!
How timely, Rev Kit! Yoga Journal's December issue had an article about gossip, including its social and evolutionary purposes. The author had some great ideas for observing and combating gossip in your own life.
Hi Ms. Kitty,
I knew that "rant" *could* be a bit too hot for you to handle, and if you had decided not to post it I would not have minded too much and would have posted it on my blog as you suggest here. OTOH It *really* is a message that I think U*Us need to hear, *listen* to, and appropriately respond to. So in *that* sense it is quite appropriate to post it to your blog, to say nothing of any number of other U*U blogs.
What I said may *well* be "less than kind" but it is *very* truthful, if not 100% capital 'T' True, and I believe that it is quite *necessary* in more ways than one. Perhaps especially in light of the slightly belated Christmas present that some Anonymous U*U blogger gave me about a week ago now. I dare say that the Robin Edgar Sucks blog is very germane to this conversation and that U*Us in general, and the UUA and MFC in particular, *really* do need to deal responsibly with not only ever so interconnected internet gossip, but also with the less publicly visible malicious gossip and other verbal violence that goes on, and on, and on. . . in and around U*U churches because good U*Us do nothing to put an *end* to that evil.
The warning I posted is one that I have made many times before, but it quite obviously bears repeating. I *will* be telling rather unpleasant truths about U*Us in general and "less than excellent" U*U ministers in particular, as long as U*Us continue to engage in, or effectively approve of aka condone, false and malicious gossip that seeks to demonize and marginalize me and/or other people of worth and dignity. In *my* books capital 'T' Truth and capital 'N' Necessity trump kindness, especially when people are being "less than truthfully" and "less than necessarily" (aka gratuitously) "less than kind" to me.
So I thank you once again for kindly posting my "rant" even though you felt that it was "less than appropriate".
Sincerely,
Robin Edgar aka The Emerson Sucker*
* Who ironically takes note of the fact that P.T. Barnum is a famous U*U. :-)
Robin, I'm publishing your remarks again even though they're "rant-ish" because I am appalled that anyone would actually put a blog out there that is a direct insult to another person, no matter what their opinion is. I'm sorry that this "someone" has so little recognition of another person's inherent worth and dignity. But please, no more rants as comments.
Private message, or not, your call -
Why not submit a comment to the Robin Edgar Sucks blog letting them know what you think?
It will be interesting to see if the "author" will publish it. I am willing to bet that they won't.
Robin, I"m considering it a private message because I really don't want to be a vehicle for your complaints, whether they are legitimate or not. Thanks for telling me, though.
OMGWTFBBQMSKITTYMADETHEWALLSTREETJOURNAL!!1!!!!111!11
WOW, that's amazing! Congrats! :-) You're movin' on up, like George & Weezy!
i've been watching this dialogue and coming back to my own experiences with robin and the mfc.
how does one deal with being dissed? it has happened to so many of us, and will befall those we love. it can't really be removed from human discourse.
here is where the christian scriptures speak with some practical guidance. when the mediating is done, it could be that one's only recourse is to forgive.
buddhists remind us that only in letting go of our suffering do we fully open the door to our own emerging future of opprtunities.
and folk wisdom reminds us that, "we catch more flies with honey."
bitterness corrodes from within. i have found that doing my best to let go of it and stay in right relationship has given voice to any number of fellow uus who don't want to be frozen in an acrimonious moment.
i'm not perfect, and like kit, i don't always livr up to my ideals. but it isn't whether we fail, but how we approach round two, that results in victory.
Blush. (To Miss Kitty)
Thanks, Elz, for your profound words.
Robin, I've rejected the latest comment, even though it's meaningful, because I want to move on from this and not keep the thread going. But I read it and appreciated your spelling it out the way you did.
Well presumably most of your readers know where to find my full point-by-point response to Rev. Elz Curtiss' words and read it if they *care* to do so.
Yes, that's what I thought too.
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