Saturday, January 02, 2010

Okay, here goes.

I figure if I put it in writing, I'll take it more seriously, especially if you all know about it!

"It" is the self-assessment I take time to do at the beginning of the new year. I've skipped a few years but it's been an important discipline for me most of the time. This year I scoured my daybook for significant events, listed them, grouped them in categories, summed each category up, and made a "To Do" entry (not a resolution but an idea, an unformed plan, a pre-resolution step).

The categories I've chosen are as follows: music's importance to me; my physicality and health; my personal life; my ministry at my congregation; and my ministry in the larger community. These are the areas of my life that stand out most clearly as I look at the ways I've spent my time in 2009. The categories are not listed in order of preference but in order of how they appeared in my daybook---the first item of significance in January was a Bayview Sound rehearsal.

1. Music's importance to me: I love to perform; it jazzes me up every time, especially when I feel in good form. I enjoy spending time with my musical companions and when we are rehearsing I feel frustrated if we spend too much time chit-chatting rather than actually singing. The Pete Seeger concert last May was a huge pleasure to organize and participate in; I felt we were doing something important for our community. It was scary to have a health issue interfere with my musical life two or three times duirng the year, but I was grateful to my musical companions for their help---with filling in for me, with transportation, with moral support and concern.

So: music is my number 1 personal outlet, source of fun and source of friends.

To Do: continue to do all the music I can, seek out more chances to hear good music and to participate in creating music, perhaps take voice lessons to keep my voice in good tune.

2. Physicality and health: during the year, I had a few health setbacks (temporary loss of voice, a detached retina and vision damage, and recurrent back pain) which reminded me that I'm aging and need to adapt my life to the changes of age. I grew out my hair to almost shoulder-length and have changed some of the styles of clothing I wear, in an effort to remain attractive as I age. I'm concerned that I have less interest in exercise and more interest in food indulgences. I'm also aware that I have spent less time outdoors, taking walks, because I've been aware of my vision deficits and afraid of falling.

So: what does it mean that I am aging and that in a mere 2 1/2 years I will be 70 years old? what will happen to my health as I age? what more am I willing to do to safeguard my health? what will I do if I contract some deadly affliction?

To Do: go outdoors more for walks and relaxation, at least monthly, to test the reality of my vision; be more attentive to my garden and yard; rent an RV and go camping this summer, especially to the Olympic Peninsula, my favorite spot.

3. Personal life: I am loving time with old friends and the chance to make new ones, through music, Mensa, and professional contacts. Family visits and connections continue to be very important to me. I've realized that I've "outgrown" a few old friendships yet I cherish the people even as I continue to grow away from them. Paying off my student loans has given me more financial security. I feel a yearning for an ongoing love relationship with a man who is musical, eligible, and affectionate and am wondering how to make this happen with someone. I've been making efforts to connect with a particular friend and am wondering if I'm going about it in the right ways.

So: maintaining connections with longtime friends, making new connections, adapting to the changes in connections---these are important to me, as is seeking a love relationship.

To Do: continue to be present in relationships with friends and family and find ways to grow a friendship with a man into something deeper.

This is what you're gonna get today. Next installment will deal with ministry, both local and in the larger community. I've also realized that there is a category that doesn't appear in a daybook, and that's my spiritual life and what it means to me, so I'll add that at some point.

8 comments:

Ms. Theologian said...

*refraining from teasing you about love interest*

I see many familiar things that I struggle with: aging, exercise, food....

*still using all will power to refrain from teasing*

ms. kitty said...

I'm proud of you, Ms. T! I appreciate your restraint. He's very sweet and I wish he would pay attention!

Carol said...

My list looked a lot like yours, and I approached it the same way---the sort of pre-resolution goals! I turn 60 in a month and am becoming aware of what I can and cannot do!
I "met" you through the M-Clergy site and have really enjoyed lurking around the edges of your blog!

Robin Edgar said...

Actually I am refraining from teasing you about your love interest too Ms. Kitty.

I *had* considered waggishly commenting -

Surely you don't mean the musical, eligible, and occasionally affectionate Emerson Avenger. ;-)

But I sought a restraining order against myself and held my tongue. :-)

BTW As far as your interest in good music goes my amateur YouTube video of Scott Dunbar One Man Band covering Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean' passed the 200,000 views mark on New Year's Day and is currently getting over 10,000 views per day. The less pop*ular 'Tin Foil Hat' video is heading towards the 100,000 views mark.

For the record The Emerson Avenger *always* wears a tin foil hat when blogging about U*Us. Well except for when he is delivering "electronic communications" to his U*U Jihad Army, Navy, and Air Farce with his amazing "less than new" Johnny Seven One Man Army Micro Helmet Phone Set of course. ;-)

ms. kitty said...

Thanks all, for your thoughts. And thanks for not teasing me!

elz said...

well, i'll tease you about something else, then, which is that i have trouble imagining myself doing all these wonderful things in just one year! a follow-up resolution might have to do with gently teasing out some priorities.

i say this because i am now housebound under the snow with a broken wrist (cannot shovel, walk safely or drive). i am taking all day to make one quiche. it shocks me into awareness of the saddest fact of aging: the little victories start to loom larger, and bigger goals fade into fondly remembered dreams.

but there are dreams worth chasing to the end, and for the attainmentr of those, may God send you every asset.

ms. kitty said...

Elz, I'm so sorry to hear about your broken wrist. That must really slow you down. And you're right, the unforeseen obstructions/events in our lives as we age change everything. I may not get everything addressed if setbacks occur.

Mile High Pixie said...

Happeee New year Miss Kitteeeee! [patpatpat on cheek]

Seriously, though, that's a great list. I don't usually make resolutions, per se, but I am indeed doing some reflecting on my intentions for the coming year.