Sometimes I look at the very thoughtful posts of my fellow bloggers and marvel at their ability to deal with difficult and sensitive subjects, such as the PEW report on American religious habits and explorations, the election campaigns of the presidential candidates, a variety of congregational and national challenges. I wonder, then, about my own perfunctory interest in most of these issues.
It's not that I don't care about them; it's more as if I have little energy to become interested. And this worries me a little bit. I'm very interested in what's going on in my congregation here on the island----the meetinghouse as it goes up, the preparations for adapting to a life in our own space, the worship life of the community, what I'm going to preach on, the wellbeing of congregants, and that sort of thing. And I'm very interested in my chaplaincy work, the lectionary study group, the clergywomen's group, as well as in my personal life's activities.
But all the other issues seem so far away, so meaningful to others but not to me. And I wonder if it's because I'm living on an island, or because I'm working only parttime, or because I'm getting older, or because my mind just doesn't want to wrap itself around negative things right now.
I don't feel like hashing over the PEW report or committing myself very avidly to either presidential candidate; I don't even feel like bashing Bush right now. Though some of the issues out there are truly horrifying, I can barely work up the energy to find out more about them.
Most likely it's normal weariness from a not-so-normal church year. The church year has been marked by excitement and tension over the building project underway; it's all going well, but folks are tired and stressed over the work involved, the many negotiations and the inevitable cost overruns that must be dealt with. And we're trying to predict all the possible changes we'll experience, so that they won't catch us unawares.
In any case, at AGM last weekend, I became aware of my apathy about big issues when I played hookey from all the workshops I'd signed up for and went for walks and even to the Tacoma Mall (gag!) for a brief time. Others were raving about chaordic this and canvass that and I couldn't have cared less, though I didn't let on. I did love sitting and talking with friends I rarely see, except for AGM, and my enthusiasm for that never waned!
In other news, Maxie went to the vet a couple of days ago to make sure he doesn't have a bladder infection, which he doesn't. And I am over my worry that I would have to find him a new home. We would miss him around here way too much. He's here for good. My friend Susan the animal communicator thinks it may have been a litterbox issue, so I've done something about that and am hopeful that it will do the trick. The dishwasher had gone on the fritz and it'll be repaired by tomorrow. The broken window in the front room was fixed this morning and the filter on the pump is under order and will be replaced soon. All these things have contributed to my anxiety and may be related to a lack of interest in bigger issues.
My sister and brother in law are coming to visit for the weekend and I am looking forward to spending some good time with them. Our little music group, for which I am the torch singer wannabe, is going to the Rockhoppers open mic tomorrow night to test three of our songs and that will be fun---and informative! I'll let you know how you can watch the webcam recording that they usually make for open mic, in case you're interested in seeing us do our thing.
5 comments:
Hmm, I wonder whether my old computer would allow me to watch and hear you sing.
Good luck with Maxie. I have kept my bedroom door closed to animals for many years, both night and day, and have even forgotten the issues that led me to that policy.
You devote yourself entirely to the tasks before you, which are
enormous. I can't do that sort of multitasking, and can only admire you for dealing with as many topics as you do. I remember the rebuilding of our Canoga Park Emerson UU church after the '94 LA earthquake, and how many people's energies that took, although it was not a hands-on project, being a different sort of building and physical/legal environment. Your building project has to be done now, and the issues of the PEW report will be with us for a while.
By the way, I notice in the March 11 Christian Century a positive review of a new book "Why Liberal Churches are Growing" edd. Martyn Percy and Ian Markham, T & T Clark, pbk., which looks useful.
Thanks for your reassuring remarks, LF. I am realizing, just having named the elephant in my life, that it is really more a case of lethargy than apathy.
I did a survey this morning for Rev. Debra Hafner's Institute and was reminded of how deeply I care about sexual and gender justice. But right now I'm too lethargic to do much about it and I know the issue will be there for many years to come.
I have to say I'm relieved to hear that even the clergy get worn out on caring from time to time and have to do things like go to the mall or read People magazine or something of the sort. I try to keep up with issues, contribute to organizations, etc., but sometimes I just need to turn off NPR, listen to some cheezy 80s music, go pick out a new lipstick. Given time, I can get the mental recharge I need to come back and keep caring and fighting for what I believe in.
Actually, it seems to be that just confessing my lethargy has helped to perk me up again. Whaddyaknow?
Glad to hear that things are working out/have worked out better with little Max. Send all your kitties the best from the East Coast, and to you too, of course. As I write, one sits next to me and the other in my lap. Much peace, Elizabeth
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