Thursday, March 29, 2007

Whinology Inc.

I find that I have established a credential as a Whinologist, based on yesterday's post. In this morning's email, a note appeared from a Regular Reader/Commenter, suggesting that my expertise might be useful in the case of a friend who was expressing misery over a stomach ache and sleeplessness.

Here is my reply to the hapless whiner and whinee:

Dear Ones,
As the resident Whinologist, I have examined your concerns and have deduced that the complaint of stomach discomfort falls into the category of "Persons I Love Who Need to Whine for aBrief Moment Because They are Feeling the Temporary Effects of Being Overworked and Underloved".

Therefore, you may whine at will for a "Brief Moment". The parameters of "Brief Moments" will be discussed in an upcoming Ms. Kitty post. For now, assume that the recipient of the whine can determine the limits of his/her patience, given
the stressors that are currently impinging upon his/her life.

Thank you for consulting Whinology Inc. We at W.I. hope that your day gets better and that your dreadful stomach ache is quickly cured. If your symptoms are not relieved by a Brief Moment of Whining, let me offer another service of
Whinology Inc., the special "Oral Ketcham" BE HEALED treatment.

Sincerely,
Ms. Kitty, prop.

8 comments:

LinguistFriend said...

Goodness, this notion opens a number of channels, most of which remind me of LA. There, people in comparable specialties can usually make a good living. Can you imagine the need for whinologists to deal with actors and actresses in the movie studios, or to deal with musicians in the recording studios? Perhaps, even in Sacramento, where you could get a posh job in charge of certification of specialists in Whinology. At least it is a move north. There even might be applications at the UUA. The mind is boggled.
LinguistFriend

Miss Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Kitty said...

I feel extra cash coming your way already! :-) Hilarious!

I guess we all need a whiny moment now and then...as long as we don't extend it beyond its life expectancy.

ms. kitty said...

Hey, I could use some extra cash. I just pledged very generously to my congregation's canvass campaign! Great idea, Miss K.

Joel said...

the special "Oral Ketcham" BE HEALED treatment

Would that be the one where you smite the afflicted in the forehead hard enough to knock him/her on their whiny hiney? With good, loving force, naturally.

Mile High Pixie said...

Baaahahaahaaa! More, more!

Chalicechick said...

I was eating with pistachios today and now my finger hurts from opening them.

Another case for Ms. Kitty!

ms. kitty said...

Poor baby. Suck it up, chick. No, I mean really, suck on your finger, sweetie, it will help.