SHAPING THINGS OF
WORTH
PUUF, Oct. 14, 2018
Rev. Kit Ketcham
I play a
word game called Lexulous online with my sister, just about every day, going
back and forth wirelessly between my home in Astoria and hers in Moses
Lake. There’s a chat feature to
Lexulous, so we swap information back and forth about who is doing what in the
family, the weather there and the weather here, her work with foster kids as an
advocate for families---but not my work so much.
My sister,
whom I love dearly, is a conservative Christian. Not to the point of hating gays or being
racist or those kinds of stereotypical ideas often attributed to the
evangelical religions. She deeply loves
the message of Jesus and lives the life she believes is right, as do her family
members. I admire that very much.
But when it
comes to exchanging our thoughts about our own religious paths, it gets
sticky. Her religious language is
different from mine. Not in the words
used, but in their meaning. So that when
we do talk about our spiritual lives, it’s often through poetry we both
love. I send her poems that express
something that resonates with me and she appreciates them. And sometimes she sends me one too.
Our mother
was a poetry lover and we both learned to recite bits of verse from her. “O World, I cannot get thee close
enough---thy winds, thy wide grey skies, thy mists that roll and rise”.
That’s a line from one memorable
poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay that our Mom could recite from beginning to
end--- sometimes right out in public like on the beach where cute boys could
observe our mother gesticulating at the skies, while Jean and I trailed behind
her trying not to be embarrassed. But I
digress…
Because of
my conservative Baptist upbringing as a preacher’s kid, in order to maintain my
connection with my family roots, I learned how to be religiously bilingual,
using some of the old words to communicate about deep concepts that I see
metaphorically and she sees more literally.
When I say
“God”, for example, I am using the idea I’ve developed about the power beyond
human power where she is more likely thinking of a benevolent Being. When I talk about Jesus, I am not talking
about God, I am talking about a beloved human teacher; when she talks about
Jesus, she is thinking about a member of the Trinity, a miracle-working deity
in his own right.
When I talk
about worship, I am talking about the time I spend with you and other religious
seekers exploring ideas that are important and worthwhile or being outside in
the natural world feeding crows and talking to the trees. When she thinks of “worship”, she is praising
God and offering her gratitude to a Being who deserves adoration for creating
the world.
Mostly we
understand each other. We don’t have to
argue about definitions in order to talk about why the concept is important and
valuable to us. I wish we could talk
together more, as I think we may have more in common than she realizes. But my journey seems to kind of worry her and
I don’t push. I do wish she understood
my language better, but I can see that she is not comfortable with my
definitions.
One of the
things that has been on our national plate lately has been “new” words,
unfamiliar words, words straight out of technology, words which have moved from
slang only, into the modern lexicon, words that used to be strictly swear words
but are now in common usage. We word
game players love to see those new words appear in the Scrabble dictionary!
Of course,
then there’s “bouf” and “Devil’s Triangle”, words we might not even have wanted
to know any meaning of, words that appear in publications like the NYT and WaPo
in the context of accusations of sexual misconduct.
As people
learn more about their own sexual or gender identity, their cultural heritage,
their historical background, their religious upbringing, many words have been
redefined.
We now use “gay” to denote men who fall
in love with other men; we don’t like to hear it used as an insult. We now understand that “redskin” and other
use of ethnic monikers cause pain to members of those ethnic groups. We are becoming aware of the insults that
careless language can bring to minority groups, whether disabled or racial or
sexual orientation and gender, or elderly.
But we slowly, slowly, change our habits of language.
Words are
powerful, words are influential, words can start or stop a fight or a marriage
or a friendship or a family relationship.
Words are beautiful, meaningful, poetic, and hateful. It all depends on how we use them and the
meaning we choose for them.
A common
Unitarian Universalist bugaboo is the use of Christian-language words whose
meaning doesn’t work for us. I asked my
Facebook colleagues to mention the most-disliked words that they hear from
their congregants and it was quite a list, most of them linked to Christian
theology or practice
Interestingly,
we UUs have our own concepts of these words, as I have described in telling you
about my conversations with Jean. For
example, we mostly don’t use the word “sin”, (except maybe to describe something deliciously
chocolate). We are most likely to use
something less loaded: bad behavior,
crime, offense.
Except for the deliberately
punitive tone of the word sin, we are pretty much talking about the same
thing. We know when someone has done the
wrong thing, we just don’t call it sin, even when we’re pretty upset about it
and believe punishment should be a consequence.
Most
religious congregations, both liberal and conservative, think of what we do on
Sunday mornings as “worship”. That’s a
hard word for a lot of UUs, as it seems to imply bowing down to a deity in
adoration. But the origin of the word
has nothing to do with adoration of a deity.
It’s the combination of two old English words: weorth, meaning worth, and schippe, meaning
the condition or shape of worthiness.
Worship, at its root, means worthiness, dignity, distinction, and an
analogous word is “honorable”, worthy of honor.
I like the
word “worship” because I like its fundamental meaning. It has a deeper meaning than adoration of a
deity, which I gave up long ago. And
yet, when we listen to each other speak about our values, about the ways we
have learned to be honorable people, I feel worshipful, honoring what I learn
at these times about ourselves and each other.
What we do during our worship time is specifically to honor the values
which bring us together. That’s what
worship really means, as I see it, shaping things of worth, bringing them into
our consciousness.
It happens
in our rituals of chalice lighting, of our water ceremony, of our summer
discussions, our potlucks and social hour, of singing beautiful and loving
words even though we falter on the tunes, every time we reach into our hearts
to honor and lift up the values that hold us together as a congregation.
So if
you’ve been a person who kinda cringes at the word worship, I’d like to suggest
that you try thinking of it in its original way, in a way which focuses on our
life together as a congregation, rather than the way some other groups think of
it. They’re using a definition that has
been handed down over centuries and it’s not really accurate.
It was redefined in that
“adoration” way by centuries of dogma enforced by other religious leaders. It’s not a word or concept that works well
for us because we have learned that our sense of awe and connection comes more from
our being together and sharing our values for the betterment of humanity.
There are some
other words that we don’t use much but do have a concept of. We go to therapists or doctors when we’re
feeling unhappy or ill and we work together to be healed. Many other religious groups call that healing
salvation, or being made whole by God.
We think of it more as a natural process that we can participate in, not
as a Being who touches us with its favor.
When many
religious people talk about “God’s Will” in relationship to some event in their
lives, they are thinking of it as God telling them or showing them what is
right for them to do. I tend to think of
it as “being in harmony with the universe, with the laws of nature”, because,
boy, if you are out of sync with natural law, you’re gonna take the
consequences, and that happens to everyone, whether you think of it as the will
of a deity or just natural law.
We have also
been sensitized to the difficulties of certain words for certain groups. We have learned that to stand for something
leaves out those people who cannot stand because of mobility issues. What about “see” for blind people? “Hear” for deaf people? “taste” for those whose sensory ability
leaves them unable to savor their food? It’s
hard to know what to be careful about.
We learn.
Going back
to the list I got from colleagues via Facebook recently, let me read some of
them to you and see which ones may jerk your chain! Raise your hand if you want, when one of them
comes along. (I’ve added a possible
similar concept in less loaded language.)
SALVATION
(healing). SACRIFICE (giving
selflessly). REPENTANCE. (saying
sorry). BLESSING (wishing well). ATONEMENT (making amends) FAITH (trust). SPIRITUAL (mystery) HOLY (reverent) RITUAL (ceremony).
These are
only a few of a longer list. I’m sure we
each have words we could add to the list, because language can be a real
barrier for us in understanding and accepting different religious points of
view.
Why is it that these words bother us?
What is the effect on our community
and the larger community around us that we dislike these words and may even
seem to look down on those to whom they are important statements of value?
Our reputation as freethinkers is
pretty well established in religious circles.
And even though we may not publicly complain or disagree with another
religious concept, people pick it up when they come into our midst, even when
it’s subtle and not overtly visible.
It bothers
me that we often stop at disliking someone else’s religious terminology without
imagining or thinking about what commonality our words and theirs might share. That’s freethinking with a wall in the
middle, a Trumpian refusal to consider another point of view and blocking
something good.
I know
people who come a few times and don’t return (this has been true in every
congregation I’ve served); they like us but sense that there may be a covert
elitism underlying our liberalism. The
people I’m thinking of are not those Christians who are associated with the
religious right but those who think of themselves as liberal Christians. They would be comfortable among us if we did
not come across occasionally as scorning their religious language.
We as UUs
pride ourselves on working on our issues of racism, homophobia, and other
social justice challenges, but we tend to stop short at examining our biases
against traditional religious language and concepts. Why is
that? Why is that so hard for us to look
at? (cong resp)
As we
continue this last year of my official ministry with you, I hope that we will
think about what we can do as a Fellowship to welcome others no matter what
religious language they use or are accustomed to. I hope we will strive for more understanding
and acceptance, rather than rejecting others’ religious language because it is
not ours. We would never do that to a
speaker of Spanish, would we, criticize another’s native tongue?
Can we
learn to be more religiously bilingual?
Can we find commonalities between our concepts and words and the
concepts and words of a more traditional person? Can we be atheists or agnostics without
turning up our noses at someone else’s love of a sacred being? Can we be non-Christians without being
scornful of those who are trying to follow in the steps of the prophet and
teacher Jesus, whom they think of as God?
I think if
we can learn to be multilingual in our religious language, we will be more
welcoming to folks who have a different way of looking at and appreciating the
same values that we have. And being
welcoming in those ways will help us in our outreach to the larger
community.
Most UU
ministers have become religiously bilingual over the course of their careers
and whoever you select as your new minister will likely have that ability, to
both understand and interpret those uncomfortable words in a helpful way. I hope you’ll be aware of that characteristic
in whomever you choose and welcome it, rather than being critical if he or she
uses the word God or other words that make you uncomfortable.
It’s always okay to ask me or any
UU minister about words you don’t feel good about because there are multiple
meanings and nuances to every one of them.
Check it out rather than complain.
And check it out with the person who uses the word, rather than
gossiping about it!
This Fellowship is a haven for
progressive religious values, and our outreach into the larger community needs
to be welcoming to all who speak a different religious language but who share
our humanitarian values. Let’s do it!
And now, let’s pause for a time of
silent reflection and prayer.
CLOSING HYMN # 23. “Bring Many Names” As we sing this hymn with its many images of
what I call “the power beyond human power” but whom many call God, let’s open
our hearts to the timeless roles of mother, father, old and young, and instead
of resisting, let’s consider the power in these words, whether we ever use the
word “God” ourselves.
BENEDICTION:
Our worship service is ended, but our service to the world begins again
as we leave this place. Let us go in
peace, remembering that as human beings who care about each other, the earth,
and the world outside these walls, we serve best when we understand each other.
May we remember that words have many meanings and that what may be touchy for
us may be deeply meaningful to another.
Amen, shalom, salaam, and blessed be.
