Shaping Things of Worth

SHAPING THINGS OF WORTH

PUUF, Oct. 14, 2018

Rev. Kit Ketcham

            I play a word game called Lexulous online with my sister, just about every day, going back and forth wirelessly between my home in Astoria and hers in Moses Lake.  There’s a chat feature to Lexulous, so we swap information back and forth about who is doing what in the family, the weather there and the weather here, her work with foster kids as an advocate for families---but not my work so much.

            My sister, whom I love dearly, is a conservative Christian.  Not to the point of hating gays or being racist or those kinds of stereotypical ideas often attributed to the evangelical religions.  She deeply loves the message of Jesus and lives the life she believes is right, as do her family members.  I admire that very much.

            But when it comes to exchanging our thoughts about our own religious paths, it gets sticky.  Her religious language is different from mine.  Not in the words used, but in their meaning.  So that when we do talk about our spiritual lives, it’s often through poetry we both love.  I send her poems that express something that resonates with me and she appreciates them.  And sometimes she sends me one too.

            Our mother was a poetry lover and we both learned to recite bits of verse from her.  “O World, I cannot get thee close enough---thy winds, thy wide grey skies, thy mists that roll and rise”. 

That’s a line from one memorable poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay that our Mom could recite from beginning to end--- sometimes right out in public like on the beach where cute boys could observe our mother gesticulating at the skies, while Jean and I trailed behind her trying not to be embarrassed.  But I digress…

            Because of my conservative Baptist upbringing as a preacher’s kid, in order to maintain my connection with my family roots, I learned how to be religiously bilingual, using some of the old words to communicate about deep concepts that I see metaphorically and she sees more literally.

            When I say “God”, for example, I am using the idea I’ve developed about the power beyond human power where she is more likely thinking of a benevolent Being.  When I talk about Jesus, I am not talking about God, I am talking about a beloved human teacher; when she talks about Jesus, she is thinking about a member of the Trinity, a miracle-working deity in his own right.

            When I talk about worship, I am talking about the time I spend with you and other religious seekers exploring ideas that are important and worthwhile or being outside in the natural world feeding crows and talking to the trees.  When she thinks of “worship”, she is praising God and offering her gratitude to a Being who deserves adoration for creating the world.

            Mostly we understand each other.  We don’t have to argue about definitions in order to talk about why the concept is important and valuable to us.  I wish we could talk together more, as I think we may have more in common than she realizes.  But my journey seems to kind of worry her and I don’t push.  I do wish she understood my language better, but I can see that she is not comfortable with my definitions.

            One of the things that has been on our national plate lately has been “new” words, unfamiliar words, words straight out of technology, words which have moved from slang only, into the modern lexicon, words that used to be strictly swear words but are now in common usage.  We word game players love to see those new words appear in the Scrabble dictionary!

            Of course, then there’s “bouf” and “Devil’s Triangle”, words we might not even have wanted to know any meaning of, words that appear in publications like the NYT and WaPo in the context of accusations of sexual misconduct.

            As people learn more about their own sexual or gender identity, their cultural heritage, their historical background, their religious upbringing, many words have been redefined. 

We now use “gay” to denote men who fall in love with other men; we don’t like to hear it used as an insult.  We now understand that “redskin” and other use of ethnic monikers cause pain to members of those ethnic groups.  We are becoming aware of the insults that careless language can bring to minority groups, whether disabled or racial or sexual orientation and gender, or elderly.

But we slowly, slowly, change our habits of language.

            Words are powerful, words are influential, words can start or stop a fight or a marriage or a friendship or a family relationship.  Words are beautiful, meaningful, poetic, and hateful.  It all depends on how we use them and the meaning we choose for them.

            A common Unitarian Universalist bugaboo is the use of Christian-language words whose meaning doesn’t work for us.  I asked my Facebook colleagues to mention the most-disliked words that they hear from their congregants and it was quite a list, most of them linked to Christian theology or practice

            Interestingly, we UUs have our own concepts of these words, as I have described in telling you about my conversations with Jean.  For example, we mostly don’t use the word “sin”,  (except maybe to describe something deliciously chocolate).  We are most likely to use something less loaded:  bad behavior, crime, offense. 

Except for the deliberately punitive tone of the word sin, we are pretty much talking about the same thing.  We know when someone has done the wrong thing, we just don’t call it sin, even when we’re pretty upset about it and believe punishment should be a consequence.

            Most religious congregations, both liberal and conservative, think of what we do on Sunday mornings as “worship”.  That’s a hard word for a lot of UUs, as it seems to imply bowing down to a deity in adoration.  But the origin of the word has nothing to do with adoration of a deity.  It’s the combination of two old English words:  weorth, meaning worth, and schippe, meaning the condition or shape of worthiness.  Worship, at its root, means worthiness, dignity, distinction, and an analogous word is “honorable”, worthy of honor.

            I like the word “worship” because I like its fundamental meaning.  It has a deeper meaning than adoration of a deity, which I gave up long ago.  And yet, when we listen to each other speak about our values, about the ways we have learned to be honorable people, I feel worshipful, honoring what I learn at these times about ourselves and each other.  What we do during our worship time is specifically to honor the values which bring us together.  That’s what worship really means, as I see it, shaping things of worth, bringing them into our consciousness.

            It happens in our rituals of chalice lighting, of our water ceremony, of our summer discussions, our potlucks and social hour, of singing beautiful and loving words even though we falter on the tunes, every time we reach into our hearts to honor and lift up the values that hold us together as a congregation.

            So if you’ve been a person who kinda cringes at the word worship, I’d like to suggest that you try thinking of it in its original way, in a way which focuses on our life together as a congregation, rather than the way some other groups think of it.  They’re using a definition that has been handed down over centuries and it’s not really accurate. 

It was redefined in that “adoration” way by centuries of dogma enforced by other religious leaders.  It’s not a word or concept that works well for us because we have learned that our sense of awe and connection comes more from our being together and sharing our values for the betterment of humanity.

            There are some other words that we don’t use much but do have a concept of.  We go to therapists or doctors when we’re feeling unhappy or ill and we work together to be healed.  Many other religious groups call that healing salvation, or being made whole by God.  We think of it more as a natural process that we can participate in, not as a Being who touches us with its favor.

            When many religious people talk about “God’s Will” in relationship to some event in their lives, they are thinking of it as God telling them or showing them what is right for them to do.  I tend to think of it as “being in harmony with the universe, with the laws of nature”, because, boy, if you are out of sync with natural law, you’re gonna take the consequences, and that happens to everyone, whether you think of it as the will of a deity or just natural law.

            We have also been sensitized to the difficulties of certain words for certain groups.  We have learned that to stand for something leaves out those people who cannot stand because of mobility issues.  What about “see” for blind people?  “Hear” for deaf people?  “taste” for those whose sensory ability leaves them unable to savor their food?  It’s hard to know what to be careful about.  We learn.

            Going back to the list I got from colleagues via Facebook recently, let me read some of them to you and see which ones may jerk your chain!  Raise your hand if you want, when one of them comes along.  (I’ve added a possible similar concept in less loaded language.)

            SALVATION (healing).   SACRIFICE (giving selflessly).   REPENTANCE. (saying sorry).  BLESSING (wishing well).  ATONEMENT (making amends) FAITH (trust).  SPIRITUAL (mystery)   HOLY (reverent)   RITUAL (ceremony).

            These are only a few of a longer list.  I’m sure we each have words we could add to the list, because language can be a real barrier for us in understanding and accepting different religious points of view. 

            Why is it that these words bother us? 

            What is the effect on our community and the larger community around us that we dislike these words and may even seem to look down on those to whom they are important statements of value? 

Our reputation as freethinkers is pretty well established in religious circles.  And even though we may not publicly complain or disagree with another religious concept, people pick it up when they come into our midst, even when it’s subtle and not overtly visible.

            It bothers me that we often stop at disliking someone else’s religious terminology without imagining or thinking about what commonality our words and theirs might share.  That’s freethinking with a wall in the middle, a Trumpian refusal to consider another point of view and blocking something good.

            I know people who come a few times and don’t return (this has been true in every congregation I’ve served); they like us but sense that there may be a covert elitism underlying our liberalism.  The people I’m thinking of are not those Christians who are associated with the religious right but those who think of themselves as liberal Christians.  They would be comfortable among us if we did not come across occasionally as scorning their religious language.

            We as UUs pride ourselves on working on our issues of racism, homophobia, and other social justice challenges, but we tend to stop short at examining our biases against traditional religious language and concepts.  Why is that?  Why is that so hard for us to look at?  (cong resp)

            As we continue this last year of my official ministry with you, I hope that we will think about what we can do as a Fellowship to welcome others no matter what religious language they use or are accustomed to.  I hope we will strive for more understanding and acceptance, rather than rejecting others’ religious language because it is not ours.  We would never do that to a speaker of Spanish, would we, criticize another’s native tongue?

            Can we learn to be more religiously bilingual?  Can we find commonalities between our concepts and words and the concepts and words of a more traditional person?  Can we be atheists or agnostics without turning up our noses at someone else’s love of a sacred being?  Can we be non-Christians without being scornful of those who are trying to follow in the steps of the prophet and teacher Jesus, whom they think of as God?

            I think if we can learn to be multilingual in our religious language, we will be more welcoming to folks who have a different way of looking at and appreciating the same values that we have.  And being welcoming in those ways will help us in our outreach to the larger community. 

            Most UU ministers have become religiously bilingual over the course of their careers and whoever you select as your new minister will likely have that ability, to both understand and interpret those uncomfortable words in a helpful way.  I hope you’ll be aware of that characteristic in whomever you choose and welcome it, rather than being critical if he or she uses the word God or other words that make you uncomfortable. 

It’s always okay to ask me or any UU minister about words you don’t feel good about because there are multiple meanings and nuances to every one of them.  Check it out rather than complain.  And check it out with the person who uses the word, rather than gossiping about it!

This Fellowship is a haven for progressive religious values, and our outreach into the larger community needs to be welcoming to all who speak a different religious language but who share our humanitarian values.  Let’s do it!

And now, let’s pause for a time of silent reflection and prayer.

CLOSING HYMN # 23. “Bring Many Names”  As we sing this hymn with its many images of what I call “the power beyond human power” but whom many call God, let’s open our hearts to the timeless roles of mother, father, old and young, and instead of resisting, let’s consider the power in these words, whether we ever use the word “God” ourselves.

BENEDICTION:  Our worship service is ended, but our service to the world begins again as we leave this place.  Let us go in peace, remembering that as human beings who care about each other, the earth, and the world outside these walls, we serve best when we understand each other. May we remember that words have many meanings and that what may be touchy for us may be deeply meaningful to another.  Amen, shalom, salaam, and blessed be.