when the blues strike in a new and unfamiliar home?
Yesterday was a bit of a blue day. I intended to go to the ENCORE (50+ educational activities) Science Exchange class in Astoria. I'd tried to attend last week but got there and discovered that the class had been rescheduled for a different day. Darn! So I put it on my calendar for the correct day of the week but didn't think to ask if the locale had been changed. I showed up yesterday at the right time, but still no class. I was peeved! So I spent a couple of hours grousing to myself, scanning the paltry info I could find on website and printed materials, leaving piteous messages on the voice mail of a couple of ENCORE volunteers, and feeling sorry for myself.
Of course, once I actually talked to someone about the situation, I felt better. It was a classic case of volunteers just not being able to cover the mountain of tasks involved in a new start to the year, not Ms. Kitty being ostracized. And I will be able to go next week on the right day and to the right location. The volunteer who called me to apologize was so nice, non-defensive, and she called me "honey", which I ordinarily would not welcome, but it was just what I needed to cool down.
Later, on my second walk of the day, I thought about why I was feeling blue that day, wondering if this was going to be the magical new start I'd hoped for, whether my back pain would ever go away completely. On my first walk all I could do was gritch to myself about the similarities between a congregation which drops the welcoming ball for a newcomer and an educational organization which isn't well-organized in its approach to welcome. Both the religious seeker and the education seeker feel rejected and may quit trying. I sure was considering quitting the search.
But I had to take responsibility for some of this. I didn't ask about the possibility of a new location for the class; it wasn't necessarily my responsibility but I could have asked. The biggest responsibility for me is that I MUST take the initiative in finding new social groups here. They aren't going to just fall into my lap; I have to go out and find them.
The euphoria of being on the coast, of working on creating a home, of visiting old haunts, of exploring this little town----the euphoria is dimming and I'm realizing that finding my niche here is a big job, sorting through people, activities, providing necessities. Now that much of the physical stuff is done, the social stuff needs to take highest priority, as my extrovert self is hungry for socializing.
So I'm thinking about what more I can do in that department. I will definitely visit the Monday night jam in Cannon Beach. I want to see if one of the local chorales needs singers. I want to organize a jam with some musicians here at my house. I want FUN!
I have been walking two or three times a day and my weight is back down below 160, even with the snacking I've been doing. The exercise is certainly the key! Yesterday I fixed my pedometer and clocked over 10,000 steps, which is about 5 miles for me. That was in two walks, one of which was only about half an hour. The earlier one was an hour long.
My back continues to ache and may be working up to a couple of days of spasms. I haven't overdone physically but I am newly aware of the tension and stress that has built up with the demands of settling in. I thought all my tension and stress was behind me, but the move has taken more of a toll than I knew.
No blues today! I'm going into Portland to see my sister and, with her, visit our Aunt Sigrid, who has had some rough times lately. Jean and I will lunch, shop, and gab. She's a good companion and a fierce Lexulous competitor.