There are always awarenesses that emerge after the fact, after the story, that add to the meaning of any event, and my experience with friends at the morgue has been deeper than I initially realized.
I had said in my previous post that these friends did not know they were inviting me into a sacred moment, but as I reread the post and re-experienced the time we spent together that day, I realized that of course they knew. It was a sacred time for them and they wanted me to be there with them. It gives the time even greater meaning, to know that their invitation was intentional. And as I know them better, I understand the depth of their own spiritual maturity.
An email conversation this morning after my friends read the blog post helped clarify a few things for me: fear short-circuits thoughts and awareness sometimes; setting aside the fear and going forward despite one's qualms is often the right thing to do; being ashamed of the fear and lack of awareness is normal but not necessary.
It hadn't yet occurred to me to update my recent post with this new learning but I want to do so. Without my acknowledging all the growth that this experience spurred in me, the story is incomplete. And it may always be incomplete because I suspect I will continue to grow because of my friendship and love for this family.
I am grateful for their wisdom, their grace in a terrible situation, and the connection we have which has become stronger with each new step in this process.