tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post335243934224418263..comments2023-11-03T06:26:00.486-07:00Comments on Ms. Kitty's Saloon and Road Show: Too early!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-7346496731638031702007-05-02T10:48:00.000-07:002007-05-02T10:48:00.000-07:00Thanks, Ms. T. Part of what is hard about this is...Thanks, Ms. T. Part of what is hard about this is that it feels so uncharacteristic of her. She was always such a staunch supporter of my going into ministry, so I thought she understood that it would change me. That she would make such a shift, without warning, was blind-siding.Lilylouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02328027965155428624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-36719640570317266362007-05-02T10:42:00.000-07:002007-05-02T10:42:00.000-07:00Yes, not jealousy in the sense that you were both ...Yes, not jealousy in the sense that you were both in lay leadership, and then you shifted to professional religious leadership and she wants that. But jealousy in the sense that perhaps you are happy, or where you want to be, or fulfilled, or have other new friends, and perhaps some of that tugged at her in a jealous way in that one of those is something she wanted. I'm just speculating, of course. But of those criteria for friendship that Aristotle wrote about in Nichomachean ethics (virtue, kindness, goodwill, mutuality, equality, trust, affection...), certainly goodwill from her is lacking. :( But jealousy is one of my pet subjects (also collusion, and the idea of being taken advantage of), so I see it everywhere, regardless of whether or not it's there. ;)Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18040824813209082919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-79036596740256257492007-05-02T10:10:00.000-07:002007-05-02T10:10:00.000-07:00Juffie, your words help a lot. You have stated wh...Juffie, your words help a lot. You have stated what I think has happened from the perspective of having experienced it yourself, and you said it better. I'll look forward to reading more from you about the issue. Thanks.Lilylouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02328027965155428624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-67930139290459670472007-05-02T09:54:00.000-07:002007-05-02T09:54:00.000-07:00Just had a chance to read your original "dilemma" ...Just had a chance to read your original "dilemma" post.<BR/><BR/>Alas, such messages go with the territory of ministry. Because you will move, and probably move, and move, and probably move again between the time of your decision to enter ministry and your leaving it.<BR/><BR/>And in those moves, if you use a lot of your time/soul energy maintaining distant friendships, you will not be using that energy to make new friendships where you are. And you will be very lonely, and not, in a Thich Nat Han sense, being where you are.<BR/><BR/>It is always very hard for those "left behind" to understand this. They do not have the work of being somewhere new. Nor the expectation that they should need to use some of their time/soul energy to make a new friend now that you have gone. The void looms large. And all the worse because you are now a "minister" which means you must never hurt anyone. And just look how you hurt me. Righteous anger often follows this progression. ::sigh::<BR/><BR/>I'll say more on my own blog later today...great issue, thanks for sharing.juffiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02301122399243658244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-42575838748432557292007-05-02T09:32:00.000-07:002007-05-02T09:32:00.000-07:00Thanks to both of you. I have been thinking about...Thanks to both of you. I have been thinking about your comment, Ms. T. I don't know how much that enters in, but envy/jealousy comes in many forms, even though it's not always obvious. I don't think it's as linear as "she wants to be a minister", but I do think she feels that other matters have taken her place in my life.Lilylouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02328027965155428624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-47878826316951951022007-05-02T08:56:00.000-07:002007-05-02T08:56:00.000-07:00Ms. Theologian makes an excellent point. Could it ...Ms. Theologian makes an excellent point. Could it be envy?Miss Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13210249894351503887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30312228.post-41672966927711012642007-05-02T07:57:00.000-07:002007-05-02T07:57:00.000-07:00I'm not sure anyone mentioned jealousy yet, but I ...I'm not sure anyone mentioned jealousy yet, but I find that is often an unspoken element in friendship friction. You have moved and changed, perhaps in some ways that she wants to, but can't acknowledge. And it's never too early!Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18040824813209082919noreply@blogger.com