WHERE DO WE GO
FROM HERE? The experience of political
trauma
Nov. 11, 2018,
Rev. Kit Ketcham PUUF
Now that
the recent election is mostly behind us and we are experiencing the backwash of
controversies and accusations about the election process, let’s take a look at
the effects of the past two years and ask this question:
What has been happening to us as individuals and as a nation these past
two years? And the reason I ask this
question is this:
We have endured and continue to
endure physical, moral, and psychological trauma, daily, from the ongoing
assault on our sense of decency and standards of humane behavior by a ruthless,
self-serving, authoritarian man whose power over us and our fellow citizens has
reeked of corruption, cruelty, and coarseness of manner.
It may be that PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is too
strong a label for our condition, but the spectacle of what has been happening
to our country, as this man has sought revenge over his political enemies, has
had its effect, whether we personally are affected by his daily behavior or
whether we foresee the terrible consequences of his behaviors on all of us.
We are certainly damaged, as a
nation, as communities, and as individuals by the actual or projected
consequences of those behaviors, whether we are empathetic observers of others’
pain or directly affected by the cruelty of his deliberate decisions to
withdraw protections from vulnerable citizens & refugees.
We have experienced terrible
violence because of the recklessness of his pronouncements and decisions. It has been like watching a dreadful train
wreck with thousands, even millions of casualties.
And there has been no end in sight
to the ongoing debacle, our only hopes resting in the votes of our fellow
citizens and in the hands of a criminal investigation which we hope will give
definition to the exact nature of his wrongs, with consequences coming to bear
on him.
What have you and I done to protect
ourselves and others from the consequences of his behavior? How have we released our anger, and fear, ----
and our shame? (cong. Resp)
As we think about our lives during
these past two years, we know why we have been angry. We know why we have been afraid. We ourselves may have endured abuse during
our past life experience; but our national experience of abuse has also left
scars. In both situations we have felt
anger, we have felt fear. And very
likely we also have felt the shame that accompanies traumatic stress experiences.
When a child has grown up in an
abusive home, that child is often so angry that they act out their anger in
violence against others. When a girl or
a woman or boy or man has been sexually assaulted, she is often so fearful that
her future relationships are in jeopardy.
Why do many victims feel shame after
experiencing a traumatic event? It’s generally
the sense that we haven’t done enough to prevent the trauma. We may think that our efforts were too feeble, we didn’t speak up, we didn’t
fight back hard enough, we didn’t talk to others about our concerns.
Trauma can invite a sense of shame
because we may perceive ourselves as having invited the assault or were too
confident in the 2016 election. And so
we take it out on ourselves, even though we did the best we knew how under the
circumstances.
How have I
kept from going crazy? How have I
expressed my anger and fear? I often
succumbed to the urge to hate him. It
scares me a lot to express this feeling of hate. I’ve been schooled to express love and
understanding since I was old enough to talk.
I remember my mother’s correction, when I came home from a neighbor
child’s home one day saying enthusiastically “Goddamn you Goddamn you”.
“Honey,”
she said with a sharp tone in her voice, “It’s better to say God Bless you, God
bless you. You don’t want your friend to
go to hell and that’s what “damn” means.”
And even though I don’t believe in hell any more, hateful speech is anathema to me. And yet I’ve
succumbed.
I’ve ranted to friends, put up
resistance literature and exposes of his behavior on websites and Facebook,
I’ve supported progressive candidates, written postcards, gone to rallies and
demonstrations, and have donated. It has
helped release the anger and combat the fear.
But I still feel shame that I haven’t done as much as others have done.
Now imagine the effect of this
trauma on the most endangered of our fellow citizens: the disabled, the elderly, the children, our
veterans, the entire Q community, persons of color, women, the poor. Nobody is left out, but certain groups are
even more threatened than others.
I hope you’re seeing the parallel
here, between the survivors of personal domestic cruelty and abuse and the
survivors of national, even global, cruelty and abuse. We Americans have experienced, on a national
and global scale, trauma from an authority figure who has no conscience, no
empathy, no care for the damage he has done to our nation’s citizens, to our
nation as an entity, and to democracy as an ideal.
Survivors of abuse are often
encouraged to seek therapeutic help to deal with the scars and open wounds of
an abusive experience. Because, left
unhealed, left open and painful, the wounds of abuse linger unless we take
steps to heal them.
This can be a hard process, taking
time, painful in its own way, as we consciously work to mend the invisible
bruises and learn how to prevent new ones by seeking wisdom, healthy
relationships, and understanding of our own needs.
I’ve mentioned that one of the
typical responses to abuse is anger, a desire to retaliate, to take out our
pain on others; we see this commonly in bullying behavior with children,
resulting in a vicious cycle of anger and possible violence.
Another typical response to abuse
is fear, the dread of triggering future abuse, a withdrawal from healthy life
experiences which add to the joys of partnerships, family life, and community involvement. We see this commonly in victims of sexual
assault.
There’s a predictable outcome of
the relentless, ongoing abuse which produces anger and fear in human
beings. That outcome is Hate, hate for
the perceived abuser and anyone who sides with that person. We see it happening in our nation today, as
the divide between political alliances widens.
As I’ve revealed about myself, I
have struggled with the urge to hate this man and his cronies. That hate is a product of the anger and fear
I have felt over the past two years, following my deep disappointment and shame
that we were too confident that a better candidate would win the
presidency. I have blamed, silently and
not so silently, family members who blindly voted for him, for the change he
might bring. And I struggle to stay in
relationship with them.
Dr. Gabor Mate’ has done important
work on the addictive qualities of the hate that follows abusive behavior toward
a victim. Here’s what he says:
"The more inequality
in a society: the more hate, the more dysfunction, the more
mental illness, the more physical illness." It should come as no surprise,
then, that we see more addiction and more mass shootings since "the
inequality is rising all the time." Violence against racial, ethnic, or
religious groups "is a manifestation of a society that foments division
amongst people and sets people against each other.”
“Both hate
and addiction are a manifestation of a society that is ill, disconnected,
and traumatized. It is an indictment of American culture and society that
anyone finds relief by picking up a rifle and driving to a synagogue. To fight
hate, we need to change our culture and society.”
Now that the election is past and
we are dealing with its outcomes, both its positives and its negatives, we have
new choices to make. If we have lost
significantly, we can lick our wounds and withdraw or we can buckle down to
continue the Resistance. If we have won
significantly, we can celebrate the wins and continue to hate the losers. I think there is a better path.
I try to go to hear Seth Tichenor
and Gad Perez’s Philosofarian
presentations every month. October’s
gathering was about the pros and cons of Tolerance. I learned a lot that night and I believe that
as we examine the precepts of Tolerance, what this philosophy entails, its
strengths and its drawbacks, we can learn something useful in the aftermath of
a traumatic two years, with an unclear path ahead of us.
Tolerance gets a bad rap at times,
with much misunderstanding of the concept as a wishy-washy way of getting along
with people we don’t agree with: the old
“agree to disagree” tactic. The question
“should we tolerate intolerance?” causes us to examine the limits of tolerance
and question its effectiveness.
When this administration came into
power, after the inauguration in 2017, many of us perhaps thought maybe we
could just agree to disagree with those who had voted for him. It turns out that this became impossible as
the actions and policy decisions of this administration became more than
disagreeable; they were clearly immoral and inhumane, with little regard for
consequences to our nation.
We realized that we were unable to
tolerate intolerance, that we had to change the direction of our nation using
the Rule of Law and figuring out our most effective strategies.
Some observations about Tolerance,
from Seth’s presentation:
Tolerance makes democracy possible, but it’s hard.
Tolerance is personally demanding, requiring a person not to reject
someone or something objectionable voluntarily.
The expectations of what is “tolerable” are always changing.
It’s easy to make mistakes.
It is a morally ambiguous condition, a paradox with shifting limits.
And what is Tolerance? It is an ability to respond with acceptance
to beliefs and ideas that are not our own.
But tolerance in practice has levels of intensity.
Its lowest level is the act of
granting permission for some behavior, with the grantor of permission having
more power than the grantee, such as the Roman Empire allowing other religions
to exist as long as they did not disrupt the Empire.
The next level is Co-existence, as
where in a family group one person is very conservative and another is very
liberal. This level requires a lot of
compromise and is difficult to sustain.
The next level up is Respect, which
is based on legitimate rules of behavior and an understanding of the common
good, as in a family or friendship setting where one person is
gay/lesbian/bisexual/ transgender or other rainbow designation and other family
members are generally accepting, if not completely comfortable.
The highest level of Tolerance is
Esteem, in which norms of behavior are appreciated and valued, as in feeling
the freedom to express public affection between same sex partners and/or a
welcoming approach to members of a different culture.
How do we decide whether Tolerance,
in a given situation, is appropriate?
1.
We understand situations by degrees;
familiarity gives us the benefit of new information as we observe the
development of a relationship or unfamiliar culture.
2.
When people are generous, helpful to others,
and lenient in judgment, a reciprocity of relationship is created.
3.
We ask ourselves “what are the moral issues
here?” and think about what our own moral standards require of ourselves.
4.
We learn to recognize that tolerance is a
moving target, that our own standards are often flexible, but that there may be
common ground.
5.
We do not tolerate intolerance.
So how do we approach this upcoming
season of adjustment and further resistance to inhumane treatment by an
immoral, perhaps criminal, federal administration?
Short answer for me: I am tired of being angry and fearful and
instead of cultivating hate in my heart for anyone, whether it’s a president or
congress or a family member, I pledge to conquer any impulse to hate by
substituting Love, by giving love everywhere possible and letting the hate float
away, as the love abides. That is a gift
I have to give to my community and my family, and that love can affect our
traumatized nation.
In closing, I offer this reflection
from Rebecca Parker:
Choose
to Bless the World, by Rebecca Parker
Your gifts—whatever you discover them to be—
can be used to bless or curse the world.
The mind's power,
The strength of the hands,
The reaches of the heart,
The gift of speaking, listening, imagining, seeing, waiting
Any of these can serve to feed the hungry,
Bind up wounds,
Welcome the stranger,
Praise what is sacred,
Do the work of justice
Or offer love.
Any of these can draw down the prison door,
Hoard bread,
Abandon the poor,
Obscure what is holy,
Comply with injustice
Or withhold love.
You must answer this question:
What will you do with your gifts?
Choose to bless the world.
The choice to bless the world is more than an act of will,
A moving forward into the world
With the intention to do good.
It is an act of recognition,
a confession of surprise,
a grateful acknowledgment
That in the midst of a broken world
Unspeakable beauty, grace and mystery
abide.
There is an embrace of kindness that encompasses all life,
even yours.
And while there is injustice, anesthetization, or evil
There moves
A holy disturbance,
A benevolent rage,
A revolutionary love,
Protesting, urging, insisting
That which is sacred will not be
defiled.
Those who bless the world live their life as a gesture of
thanks
For this beauty
And this rage.
The choice to bless the world can take you into solitude
To search for the sources of power and grace;
Native wisdom, healing, and liberation.
More, the choice will draw you into
community,
The endeavor shared,
The heritage passed on,
The companionship of struggle,
The importance of keeping faith,
The life of ritual and praise,
The comfort of human friendship,
The company of earth
The chorus of life welcoming you.
None of us alone can save the world.
Together—that is another possibility
waiting.
CLOSING HYMN # 349 “Gather the Spirit”
EXTINGUISHING THE CHALICE
BENEDICTION: Our worship service, our time of shaping
worth together, is ended, but our service to the world begins again as we leave
this place. Let us go in peace with love
in our hearts casting out hate and may we remember that every little kindness
changes the world. Amen, Shalom, Salaam,
and Blessed Be.
CLOSING CIRCLE
