THE
BACKSIDE OF BELTANE
Rev.
Kit Ketcham, with Monica Van Steenberg
May
14, 2017, PUUF
Thanks,
Monica, for your help with this service and for speaking about your own
experience of Beltane, on this Mother’s Day and in celebration of the human
urge to enjoy life passionately and to give that life literally to our children
and to those we love.
I
remember singing lustily the song from Camelot “It’s May, it’s May, the Lusty
Month of May” and, though I wasn’t quite ready to throw caution to the winds
sexually, I sure enjoyed the words “That darling month when everyone throws
self-control away”.
Without
revealing too much personal information, I will confide that I had my wild days
and nights. Those memories are clear and
pleasant to recall, and, in some cases, a little bit embarrassing.
But
I’ve aged. I’m not there anymore. I’m passionate about different things these
days and wouldn’t bear another child under any circumstances! Cats and
congregations are plenty enough responsibility for me these days.
I’m
on the “backside of Beltane”, I think.
Instead of looking eagerly for that next possible romance, I’m limping
off to meet my friend Mike on the riverwalk, who is, in turn, kinda limping a
bit toward me. But he’s my friend and
that’s more important to me these days than physical passion.
Not
to say that the flame doesn’t burn, but it burns in a different way: hugs instead of deep kisses, giving time and
energy instead of making seductive moves, looking for kindred spirits of all
genders, not a boyfriend.
Of
course, my widowed mother, 20 years after my dad’s death, was pursued quite
persistently by an elderly swain at her assisted living facility, a man who was
also observed flirting with yet another woman in a parlor corner. I’m not saying it can’t happen, just that I
don’t know how I’d respond!
My
body, my brain, my whole nature has shifted away from making whoopee to looking
for love in a whole different way.
Nothing wrong with mad, passionate love at any time of year or of life
but as we age and our bodies and minds respond differently to circumstances, we
adjust to those changes. Call it the new
normal!
Six
years ago, I lost a bunch of weight getting ready for retirement, ready to have
a love life once again. But aging caught
up with me and my health became a more important project than finding romance. Comfort food became my default position, not
Weight Watchers cuisine and I paid the price.
Now
I think about why I would lose weight again after multiple yo-yo experiences
with clothing sizes! And it has become
more important to eat properly than to take off the pounds. It’s a way of life that allows for a cinnamon
maple scone at Coffee Girl or pizza at our Ft. George Happy Hour, when being
social is more important than being skinny.
With age comes the
freedom to make different choices.
One
thing that freedom brought me was the opportunity to respond to a strong call
to ministry. Studying theology and
church history at Iliff School of Theology in 1995 sent me passionately in a
whole new direction.
And
gradually over the years, my desires have
changed. As a newbie to the vocation of
ministry, I learned how important it was to be careful with my relationships
within my congregation. Lots of clergy
get into big trouble by dallying sexually with members of the flock. From the beginning I was very careful to
limit romance to friends outside the congregation.
But
of course, the best guys are often in UU congregations! Darn! Just
another reason to make friends, not search for lovers.
Do
I regret being on the “backside” of Beltane?
Like many of us, , as I experience the early autumn of my physical life, I have found my spiritual life enhanced by
the solitude and freedom that my Beltane energy has morphed into. I find that I’m not lonely, I get a lot of affection
from you all and from family and friends, and I look forward to each day
wondering what it will bring next.
As
in the seasons of the year, Lughnasahd arrives in life too, that harvest time
when we can see the benefits of our past experience and savor the maturity that
comes from living the life we are given.
Let’s
pause for a time of silent reflection and prayer.
CLOSING HYMN: #1065
“RISING GREEN”
BENEDICTION: Our worship service, our time of shaping
worth together, has ended, but our service to the world begins again as we
leave this place. Let us go in peace,
remembering that we are flesh and blood creatures, with all the desires and
possibilities that life gives us. May we
enjoy those pleasures and challenges fully and joyfully, as we journey through
our lives, accepting the changes that come with maturity and savoring the new
life it brings. Amen, Shalom, Salaam,
and Blessed Be.
CLOSING CIRCLE
